


precious yoo

by cherrychoke



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Band Fic, Drowning, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Near Death Experiences, indie band au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 09:54:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28811529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherrychoke/pseuds/cherrychoke
Summary: It's one of those days for Kihyun (and everyone else).
Relationships: Yoo Kihyun/Everyone
Comments: 8
Kudos: 29





	precious yoo

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Owlvis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Owlvis/gifts).



Chatter rises among them, feeding the noise around them; of other people, aeroplanes taking off and landing, employees’ voices booming through the speaker to make announcements, children shrieking and running around. The freshly wiped floor stings Kihyun’s blocked nose, making him scrunch it with distaste. He stares at their luggages, laughing when Minhyuk makes a joke at Hyungwon’s expense. Even without looking up, he can tell Hyungwon is frowning, annoyed at being compromised in such a public manner.

Hoseok’s arm is on Kihyun’s waist, firm and grounding — just what he needs after a sleepless night. Kihyun keeps the pocket tissue papers clutched in his fist, wiping his nose ever so often. His nose refuses to stop running, his ears are beginning to feel blocked, and his voice has become scratchy around the edges. Thank God they’re not performing (officially) for another month. He has at least fifteen more days of freedom and time to recover from whatever this is, and then him and his band are expected to show up at the pre-production of their reality show. Their future-managers gave them a fair warning about that; it can be extremely tiring from start to end.

His head throbs when everyone laughs, their low tones somehow manage to feel piercing to Kihyun’s sensitive head.

“Are you okay?” Hoseok whispers to him, tightening his grip on his friend’s waist.

“Headache,” Kihyun replies, grimacing when it feels like a needle stabbing into his skull. “I think it’s because of an empty stomach.”

Hoseok nods and unloads his backpack onto the suitcase in front of him. “Let’s get you some snacks, then.”

He guides Kihyun towards an airport-owned fast food restaurant. There’s the standard fast food stuff: burgers, french fries, sandwiches; but Kihyun isn’t really hungry. He stares at the menu while Hoseok orders small sandwiches for himself and the rest of the band.

“Kihyunnie,” Hoseok bumps their shoulders together, and waves his debit card. “What do you want?”

“Salad, with little dressing,” he mutters. That’s the least nauseating option he finds.

“You don’t have to diet here,” Hoseok reminds him, but orders the salad anyway. “Your diet plans start after this vacation.”

“Anything else will make me puke in the plane,” Kihyun lies, smiling so his words are light-hearted. His body might even reject a simple salad at this point, but he doesn’t want anyone to know that. His stomach jolts, as though repulsed by the idea of travelling on a plane for 7 hours, and he longs for his bed. His comfortable bed, his mother’s hot and spicy soup, and his father’s strong, calloused hands massaging his headache away.

When they go back to their little circle, there are a few fans with professional cameras set up in front of them, clicking pictures aggressively. Kihyun flinches when a camera flashes on his face, but once his eyesight recovers a bit, he realizes they’re mostly photographing Hyunwoo. Kihyun isn’t surprised, really — Hyunwoo is wearing a sleeveless graphic t-shirt of his favourite band, his guitar strapped across his buff chest. He looks _hot,_ but everyone is probably having whiplash because of his cute, shy smile.

Changkyun, the youngest and talented lyricist in their band, has a smug grin as he grabs Hyunwoo’s meaty arm. Kihyun takes it as a cue to stand on Hyunwoo’s other side, grabbing his other arm similarly. They bite his arms for the cameras, just to see him flush with embarrassment.

“Stop,” Hyunwoo mutters, looking away from the cameras, snatching his arms away to rub at the bite marks. “Both of you are embarrassing.”

“We’re just curious about your meaty arms,” Changkhyun says, wiggling eyebrows in a way that’s completely inappropriate in public. Kihyun nods to agree with him anyway. “They taste good, hyung.”

Minhyuk tuts, wrapping his arms around the youngest. “Why are you both always horny?”

The photographers are a few feet away from their band, so unless someone raises their voice, Kihyun is sure none of the fans can hear this questionable discussion.

“Have you seen hyung’s body?” Hyungwon says, wrapping his hand around Hyunwoo’s bicep to make his point. The group is divided between an appreciative moan and a hum of approval. Hyungwon grins. “Everyone is horny because of him.”

Hoseok is far more meaty and buff than Hyunwoo, but Hoseok doesn’t blush and gape in response when they tease him like this. If they need the comfort of their strong arms, both are always happy to provide; but Hyunwoo doesn’t understand (and feel) sexual attraction, so they’ve made a sport out of making him flush with sex jokes. He doesn’t understand most of the sexual innuendos they use, and he’s extremely flustered when he’s confused.

They momentarily forget about the cameras, now whispering about seeing Hyunwoo naked and scheming about how to touch his abs sometime this vacation. Kihyun forgets about his headache too, until a camera flashes right in front of his eyes.

He winces and shuffles back to Hoseok like a puppy. He takes the salad box and starts eating, comforted when Hoseok’s arm returns to his waist.

“You should see him sweating in the gyms, wearing his sweats,” Hoseok grins, and he wins this round.

*

Kihyun spends the first ten minutes of luggage pick-up with a sulky Minhyuk, trying to convince him that his headache was bad and he didn’t mean any of the rude things he said. Minhyuk doesn’t get hurt easily, he’s just sensitive to comments regarding his hyperactive mouth, and Kihyun may or may not have specifically targeted it to shut him up.

“Oh my God, it’s _fine,_ hyung,” Minhyuk finally says, rolling his eyes and sighing. “I said I forgive you. What do you want me to do?”

“Let me buy you something?” Kihyun squeezes the younger in his arms. His chest is heavy with guilt, and his ears are fully blocked now.Everything sounds at a distance, even Minhyuk to some extent.

“Fine, buy me ice cream one day,” Minhyuk says, and he wiggles out of Kihyun’s arms to grab his suitcase from the moving belt. He returns to the elder with a sheepish smile. “Okay, maybe ice cream and chips.”

They get two taxis to reach their hotel — four star, kind of expensive. Hyungwon checks them in and gives them the room cards.

This vacation is coming from their pockets, not from the company they recently signed, so everything is more and more like a dream. For an indie band who weren’t sure they could reach 100 plays on SoundCloud, they can afford such an expensive trip now, for a whole month, and one of the waiters even asks them for a picture!

But Kihyun is stuck with an itchy throat, his mouth dry and it feels like it’s stuffed with cotton balls. He looks good in the selca the waiter took, but it’s obvious he’s leaning on Hyungwon for support.

Jooheon is the first among everyone to grab his arm, holding it like he usually does, and ask, “Are you sick, hyung?”

“Tired,” he lies. It’s a relief to lean against Jooheon as they wait in for the elevator, to rest his head on the younger’s shoulder. “I hate travelling.”

Which is true. Sick or not, he’d be just as tired, but he probably would enjoy everything _more_ if he weren’t feeling sick.

“Can I room with you and Hoseok-hyung?” He mutters when they start walking in the corridor where their rooms are supposed to be.

They’ve divided themselves into three and four to stay in each room, but he doesn’t want to stay with Changkyun right now. If the youngest even gets a whiff of anyone getting sick, he’s going to waste his own precious time and play doctor for them. It’s sweet of him, but Changkyun is nowhere near being a good nurse, he’s only 21, and Kihyun will end up having to calm him down instead of resting. Besides, Hoseok always has meds with his other body-building stuff.

“Yeah,” Jooheon smiles sweetly. “I’ll tell Minhyukie.”

Kihyun can’t help but laugh softly. “You never call us hyung when we aren’t around, do you, punk?”

Jooheon just grins smugly in response.

*

The hotel room is perhaps more luxurious and rich than the hotel itself. There are three single beds in their room, equidistant from one another, short nightstands next to each of them with a yellow night lamp on it. The windows stretch from the floor to ceiling, the balcony can fit three of them together, but the view outside isn’t all that great. They’re on the fourth floor, the busy road below them gives more dark smoke than noise of vehicles. But it’s not like they’re here to spend time at the hotel.

During the short trip from the airport to their hotel, Kihyun’s nose is doing a lot better. He smells lavender in the room as soon as he enters, and he notices the lavender air freshener sitting on the dresses right away. It’s a heavenly smell, and the air freshener is doing a great job at masking their stench of sweat, airport, and fatigue.

Hoseok, to his and Jooheon’s surprise, has the energy to take a shower as soon as they arrive and claim their beds.

Jooheon sinks into the bed, just like Kihyun, and they both heave a sigh, happy to finally relax in a bed. It’s only 4 in the morning here, the same day they left, but it’s nearly midnight in South Korea, the jet lag is going to hit them like a truck soon.

“Do you think Minhyuk’s going to have a fling here again?” Jooheon asks, breaking the silence. Kihyuk thinks Jooheon might be jealous, but he’s more sure about his delirious state.

“Flirting with people is hardly a ‘fling’, Jooheon-ah.”

“I know,” Now Jooheon sounds upset. “But I don’t like it.”

Minhyuk and Jooheon’s relationship is very confusing to him; they’re together, he understands that much, but Minhyuk never stops flirting and Jooheon never stops moping.

“Tell him that.” He turns to his side, to face Jooheon who has a huge pout on his face, eyes wide with tears. Kihyun’s heart aches a little. “You should talk about these things.”

“He’ll accuse me of being possessive,” Jooheon sulks. He gets up from his bed, approaches Kihyun’s. “Can I lie here for a second?”

“Sure,” Kihyun scoots till the edge of the bed, welcomes Jooheon in his arms. _Ah right,_ Kihyun thinks, _Jooheon is the commitment-phobe._ “What’s wrong with being called possessive? You don’t like the flirting _because_ you’re possessive.”

Hoseok comes out of the shower, wearing his boxers and a tight t-shirt. Kihyun is reminded of his huge crush on him as a 17 year old kid, biting his lower lip and preening at every praise Hoseok gave him. He might still harbour the crush, but it’s easier to hide and ignore, especially now that they’re going to make more public appearances. They’ll be like those idols they saw on TV. And cameras make him put on a different personality, even if he’s around his friends.

“What’s wrong, Jooheon-ah?” Hoseok asks, flopping onto his bed. His lips curl into that cute smile which had 17 year old Kihyun squeaking. Hoseok has always been kind, even when he was 17. He’s the oldest among them, the one who started this band, and he let 14 year old Jooheon and Changkyun join their practice. He wouldn’t let anyone be mean to the kids.

“Minhyuk,” Kihyun answers for the younger. Maybe he’s so fond of the younger members because of Hoseok. “They’re just not talking.”

“Maybe I would talk if he didn’t accuse me everytime I tried,” Jooheon mutters, huffing.

“You’ll be okay,” Hoseok gets his suitcase in front of him, and shrugs. “You promised to stay friends no matter what, though, remember that.”

Jooheon gets up from Kihyun’s bed, moves back to his, and sulks at both of them. “I know, hyung, I’m talking about the romantic stuff.”

“Can we sleep now and continue this later?” Kihyun places his hand on the younger’s knee, squeezing it as a sorry. “Maybe resting will help.”

His throat suddenly has a thin layer of slime inside, coating the walls. He clears his throat, feels the thin slimy feeling move and stick upwards.

*

Hyungwon is the first of them to recover from the jet lag. On the second day, he’s up and about, springing back and forth between their rooms to keep everyone’s body on a schedule, even if they don’t comply.

“Come on, Jooheon, it’ll take you two minutes,” Hyungwon is already taking said man’s suitcase out and picking clothes for him. “You just go in, stand under the water, and come out.”

It’s surprising and off-putting to see Hyungwon take the lead, and take care of everyone. He’s usually the one being spoiled because of his adorable face. Kihyun laughs from his bed when Hoseok comes out of the bathroom, his eyes closed, and it looks like the eldest is going to fall asleep standing.

Second day at Hawai’i, so far, had been great for Kihyun. He got up as soon as he heard Hyungwon’s voice, he took the first shower after the younger one, but now the sluggish, mind-fogging feeling of sickness is coming back. His nose is itchy, its tip burning and in the beginning stages of clogging up; his eyes are burning too, very dry no matter how much he blinks; his body is slowly melting into his bed, but he reshuffles ever so often. What if he melts in and can’t get up? They have so many exciting things planned, even Hyungwon is nagging everyone to get up and get well.

“Why are you so restless?” Hoseok asks, flopping onto his bed. He slides under the blanket, and looks at Kihyun, concerned. How sweet of him.

“Jet lag,” Kihyun replies. “It’s making me feel sick.”

Despite how sick he feels, he can’t help but grin when Hoseok’s lips curve into a tired smile.

“Me too. My nose is clogged, I’m so tired, but this mister over here—” Hoseok nods at Hyungwon, who pointedly keeps his head down and pretends to not hear, “—won’t let me sleep.”

Hyungwon doesn’t retaliate those words. He’s a quiet fighter most of the time; he likes to make his points differently. If it were Jooheon, Minhyuk, or Changkyun, they wouldn’t let Hoseok finish his sentence.

Kihyun watches Hyungwon stand up with Jooheon’s clothes and towel, and drag the younger one into the shower. When he comes back, his smile is too wide for it to be sweet. “I’m taking Minhyuk and Jooheon to the seafood restaurant tomorrow, for lunch, and the rest of you have the jet surf thing booked.”

“We’ll need a translator too,” Kihyun points out. Hyungwon is the only one good at the local language, after all.

“Hyunwoo-hyung hired a Korean instructor,” he grins, and looks at Hoseok smugly. “You can sleep now, if you want to sleep instead of learning to jet surf tomorrow.”

Silent, but deadly.

“And make sure to eat a lot, okay? God knows how long you’re staying in water.”

But still a sweetheart, in Kihyun’s opinion.

Hyungwon leaves when Jooheon comes out of the shower, and asks them to call room service for the seven of them. They’ve mastered the art of calling room service, by using the translators in their phone.

Jooheon takes care of ordering, and Kihyun moves to Hoseok’s bed, sitting on the edge of it and staring at the elder trying to blink his sleep away. “Hyung, do you have anything for a fever?”

“I do.” Hoseok places a big, warm hand on Kihyun’s forehead, to confirm, and Kihyun gently pushes it away.

“I don’t have it right now, but I’m asking just in case.”

Hoseok nods, and points at his suitcase. “It’s in the front zip.”

*

The next morning is awful. Kihyun wakes up at the ungodly hour of 3AM, his body icy cold and his teeth clattering. He doesn’t need a thermometer to know what this is.

Grabbing the pills packet from Hoseok’s suitcase, he pours himself a glass of water and downs one. Hoseok and Jooheon are out like a light; they barely move, even when Kihyun drops the packet into the nightstand’s drawer and closes it too loudly.

*

At nine in the morning, Kihyun has to take another pill for the fever, when Jooheon is out on a little date with Minhyuk, and Hoseok is in the other room, helping Hyungwon to force the rest of them to take a bath.

His neck feels too stiff, his body protests against every movement, and to lean on a chair or a table is a welcome break from having to carry himself. It’s a surprise he makes it to the elevator without leaning on Changkyun or Hyunwoo. Everything feels stiff and flared with fatigue, but the jet surf was his idea; it’d really suck to miss out on this one. He makes it to the restaurant in one piece, and to his delight, Hyunwoo looks just as dead as he feels.

“I feel like death,” he whispers to Hyunwoo after they order. “I want to go back to bed.”

But he knows they can’t. The lessons for a single day were expensive, it’d be a waste to skip this one, and he knows he’ll be too grumpy to enjoy the rest of the trip later, if he misses on this.

The food helps, emotionally. He eats chicken and salad and finishes the apple juice in a single go, but the pleasure of eating doesn’t last very long. His appetite disappears right after the juice.

“You’re done already?” Hyunwoo asks. Kihyun nods.

“You need to eat more, hyung,” Changkyun says, passing the salad bowl to him. Kihyun’s stomach twists in response, repulsed by the idea. “Come on, we’ll be in water for at least two hours, you need more energy.”

He pushes his plate away, shaking his head. Even the thought of eating anything more makes him shiver. “I’m full, Changkyun-ah, I’ll be okay.”

“No,” Hyunwoo says. His tone is neutral but there’s an angry crease on his forehead. “Eat a little more. We ordered so much stuff.”

“You didn’t even eat the meat,” Hyunwoo takes the plate with little pieces of pork, and holds it up near Kihyun’s mouth. “Eat one of everything, at least. There’s dumplings and noodles too.”

“I’m full—”

“Grow another stomach and eat more,” Hyungwon snaps, glaring at Kihyun. “Your jet lag will get worse if you don’t eat and go into the water anyway.”

Minhyuk nods. “Yeah. It’s either food or swimming in the water, hyung.”

Groaning, Kihyun complains about how much they gang up on him, but he eats a little more anyway. A few pieces of meat, and one dumpling. Everyone is too occupied filling their own stomachs this time, so they don’t notice or comment on how much he ate. When the ice cream is ordered, Kihyun promises to pay for that one. He probably shouldn’t eat ice cream, of all things, when he’s sick, but… ice cream is his favourite! How can he not eat it, when he’s buying it for everyone?

“I’ll buy you the chips later, okay?” He grins at Minhyuk, who beams in response.

*

The Sun outside is hot and unforgiving. Kihyun can feel his skin heat up like a toast, and if it weren’t for the sunscreen and the cap, he’s sure his face would’ve been burnt the moment they stepped out of the hotel and into the Sun. Their swimsuits are black as well, which doesn’t help with the heat.

It’s a two minute commute to the beach, and if it was hot inside the taxi, the beach feels like the deepest pits of Hell. He can barely open his eyes without his cap, the sand under their feet is heavy and makes it harder to move. Hyunwoo, Changkyun, and Hoseok walk like snails behind him, whining about having to move under such cruel Sun, just to do something they don’t know; in turn, probably won’t be able to enjoy much.

“Stop calling my idea bad,” Kihyun grumbles. “You haven’t even seen the beach yet.”

“Exactly!” Hyunwoo whines. “Why is there so much sand on the way to the beach? And nobody told us we had to walk a kilometer to get there!”

He ignores the whining until it stops, when they finally get a glimpse of blue among the brown sand and tree trunks. The open cloudless sky merges into the blue ocean, there are a handful of people and only two beach umbrellas in the area; it’s quiet, calm, like a dream.

Kihyun’s chest is suddenly light, breathing in the salty air is almost too easy, and before he knows it, he’s running towards the endless ocean.

Changkyun joins him in a second, and they both laugh for no particular reason. They squeal when they reach the water, the waves crashing at their feet first, and they dive into the shallow water.

“I’m never leaving the water,” he tells Changkyun. They sit in the water, legs crossed, the water reaching up to their knees.

“The oldies are still setting up the beach umbrella,” Changkyun says, looking back. He points at Hyunwoo and Hoseok, who indeed are struggling with the umbrella. “Let’s go back only after they’re done, hyung.”

*

Staying in the water for ten minutes does something to him. He’s okay, but there’s something off about his body overall. He keeps up and splashes water back at Changkyun, but his hands are shaking, even when he isn’t doing anything with them, everything tilts off-axis from time to time, and he pretends it’s the water pushing him when he stumbles.

Hoseok and Hyunwoo call them to the dry land when the instructor arrives. The instructor is a South Korean, turns out — he’s 36, short and built, and his skin is tanned a darker colour. His assistant is almost equally tan, but his Korean is nowhere near being conversational.

“I hope you’ve eaten well,” the instructor grins at them. He hands them forms (written in Korean, thankfully) which states that they’re all above the age of 21, understand the risks of jet surfing, won’t sue the instructor if anything goes south. “There are just precautions, of course, we’ll make sure to keep you safe.”

After they’ve signed the forms, the assistant collects them. They’re given basic instructions about what they can and can’t do, which borders of the ocean to not cross, when to get off the board to avoid drowning. The assistant interrupts the instructor, he whispers something, and hands one of their forms to him.

“Changkyun-ssi,” the instructor frowns, looking up at said man. “You _must_ be 21, you can’t join our lesson.”

“But I am,” Changkyun says, his eyes wide with surprise.

“You’re 21 in South Korea, not here,” the instructor says with a smile. “I’m sorry but you’ll have to sit this one out.”

Now that he has the perfect excuse for, Kihyun clings onto Changkyun, to rub the youngest’s back and to not show how weak his body feels.

They’re back in water after a few minutes, and Kihyun grabs on the jet surf board like his life depends on it. The instructor’s verbal explanation was a little clumsy, but he looks very cool riding the board. When the instructor tells them to start trying, Kihyun turns around and finds Changkyun under the umbrella the eldest set up. He waves at the youngest, and shouts, “I’m sorry you couldn’t join!”

“It’s okay!” Changkyun shouts back. “You guys have fun for me too, okay?”

Three of them laugh at his reply — he’ll definitely triple-check their every stop now.

Jet surf looks cool but is so hard to even get on the board in the first place. All of them topple back into the water easily, and only after the instructor shows them once again, does it get easier to balance themselves on the board. Hyunwoo, once he balances on the board, has no trouble moving around. He and Hoseok take up the instructor’s attention, so Kihyun takes his own decision to get better. He goes to the assistant.

“Excuse me, can I ride along the wave?” He asks. The assistant blinks at him, confused; so he repeats his words slowly, trying to mime his words. “Can I ride this way?”

“Uh, yes,” the assistant isn’t confident in his reply. “Yes but…” The rest of his words are in the local language, with his accent so heavy, Kihyun only catches “no” and “that” from him.

He pretends to understand anyway, and nods confidently. He swims farther, until the water reaches his chin, and tries to hop on the board. He doesn’t topple over this time, but it’s hard to celebrate when his vision is becoming too blurry. He squints, placing a hand on his forehead to shield against the sunlight, but it doesn’t help with his vision. He starts the motor, the board shakes his body. 

A sudden wave pushes Kihyun forward, and he’s suddenly underwater. His nose and ears sting with the sudden intrusion, his vision is still blurry. He opens his mouth, and the water penetrates that vacuum as well. He thrashes his lumps, but its useless against the strong, salty water filling up his nose, ears, and mouth. He can’t breathe, his limbs can no longer fight as another wave of water consumes him. He can’t breathe, he can’t see, he can’t shout.

His body is giving up.

*

“Hyunwoo-yah! You look really cool!”

Hoseok laughs when the younger falls. In his defense, Hyunwoo looked cool for the whole two seconds he stood up on the board. It’s hard to operate the motor even while laying on the board, let alone operating it while standing. Hoseok is getting a hang on it, though. He rode half a semi circle before being thrown off by a wave, but he’s going to take it as a win.

Poor Kihyun, though, he hasn’t even been able to stay on the board for more than one second. He went a little further than them, probably jealous that he hasn’t been able to do it as good; Hoseok saw him get consumed by a wave even before he probably started the motor.

Getting on the board once more, Hoseok tries to move with the board longer this time.

“That’s good, Hoseok,” the instructor praises, grinning at him. “Hold on tight when you start the motor.”

He ignores the heat rushing in his ears, and grips the board tighter. The instructor keeps a hand on Hoseok’s calves when he starts the motor. He rides for half a circle before falling into the water.

Hyunwoo splashes water at him, laughing. “You looked like an eel doing that, hyung.”

“Don’t discourage a student,” he says, sulking. He splashes a bigger wave for revenge, and glaces at where Kihyun was.

The water there is eerily calm. He can see Kihyun’s jet surf board, but the man himself is missing. Did he fall again?

“Come on, keep trying,” the instructor pats his back, moving to help Hyunwoo on the board. “Don’t you want to learn?”

Hoseok glances once again at where Kihyun was supposed to be. He’s still nowhere, but his board is still there. Did he go back to Changkyun? A quick look towards the youngest proves him wrong, and his stomach drops.

He lays on the board and tries to ride towards the assistant, who is explaining another group trying to learn.

“Have you seen my friend?” Hoseok asks, his voice wavering. When the assistant doesn’t understand, he pats his board, makes a hand gesture of Kihyun’s height, and points at Kihyun’s board floating alone. “That friend?”

“Yes,” is all the assistant says, and goes back to explaining the group. Hoseok moves away, and finds something similar to Kihyun’s hair near the board.

The nervousness dissipates a little.

“Oh thank God,” he mutters. But there’s something wrong with the way his hair is moving. Where is the rest of his body? “Kihyun!”

Why is his body not moving?

He ditches the board and swims closer to Kihyun. His veins turn icy cold when he realizes, and shouts, “No! Kihyun-ah!”

*

Hyunwoo blinks, turning his head to see why Hoseok shouted.

“Hyung!” he shouts. Hoseok stops moving and turns around, his face pink. Wait, is he crying? “What’s wrong?”

“Kihyun!” Hoseok points his hand to his right, and sobs. “He— his body is floating!”

It takes a minute for Hyunwoo to register what it means, and he’s laying on top of the jet surf board, and moves towards the eldest. His hands are shaking, his breathing becomes shallow, and everything blurs for a moment. He doesn’t realize he’s driven past Hoseok until the eldest shouts for him.

He stops and looks back at Hoseok, who is crying harder now.

“Go! Go!” Hoseok flails his arms uselessly, and begins swimming towards him. “Go get him! Get help!”

Hyunwoo falls off the board arm’s length away from Kihyun’s board. He dives underwater and finds Kihyun’s body beginning to resurface, only a handful of bubbles coming out of his mouth. Hyunwoo pulls Kihyun’s body upwards, but the younger’s body is unbelievably heavy.

“Help!” he hears Hoseok shout.

“Someone help!” He yells, trying to push Kihyun’s body onto the board. All these muscles and he can’t stop shaking, can’t pull a petite Kihyun onto the board. “Somebody help, please! Help!”

Kihyun’s body lightens a bit, and he finds Hoseok pushing him from below.

They put him on the board together, and Hyunwoo focuses on pulling him to the shore, while Hoseok tries to wake him up. Hoseok keeps asking Kihyun to wake up, and keeps saying, “Please wake up, Kihyun-ah, don’t die on us.”

“H-hyung,” Hyunwoo looks back, but is stopped abruptly by a person. He says something in the local language and begins pulling Kihyun off the board. Hyunwoo chokes on a sob, and holds Kihyun’s waist firmly. “No! Don’t get him off this—”

“He’s the lifeguard,” The instructor butts in, and he and the lifeguard put Kihyun in a better position, and move him towards the shore.

He wraps an arm around Hoseok’s waist, half-pulls and half-swims behind the instructor. Hoseok is crying a lot, and Hyunwoo has no idea how he’s keeping it together. He drags Hoseok when his legs hit the sand, and watches Changkyun kneel shakily next to Kihyun’s unconscious body.

Hopefully, Kihyun is not dead.”

*

No matter how much they try, Hyunwon still feels like he’s third-wheeling. Not that he minds. He has great material to pull Minhyuk’s leg with later, but he’s still trying to understand what about Minhyuk slurping oysters is making Jooheon look so fond of him. MInhyuk looks like a disgusting, toothless monster, in Hyunwon’s opinion.

He pretends to retch when Minhyuk kisses Jooheon’s cheek, and mutters, “God, get me out of here.”

Minhyuk glares at him. “You’re just jealous.”

“Of your oyster-and-God-knows-what-else tasting kisses?” Hyungwon rolls his eyes, and takes a bite of the crab meat in front of him. “Not even in my dreams, Minhyuk.”

His phone chimes right in time to shut his best friend up. It’s Changkyun. He picks up the call. “Hello?”

“Hello? H-hyung,” Changkyun sobs.

Hyunwon’s heart twists, his stomach fills up with rocks. “Are you okay, Changkyunie?”

“Kihyun-hyung’s dead,”

A tonne of bricks fill up his guts. “What?”

“Or-of unconscious, I don’t know— he drowned, and-and—”

“We’ll be right there,” he gestures at both of his friends to get up, and covers the receiver end of phone. “Get a taxi to the beach.”

Minhyuk follows without any questions, while Jooheon reluctantly follows his partner.

Changkyun is still rambling on the phone. “—and he’s not breathing, they’re doing first aid—”

“We’re coming, Changkyun, he interrupts. He presses his phone between his ear and shoulder, fumbling with his wallet to pay as he continues to speak. “Get him to a hospital, get a doctor to see him. Who is doing the first aid?”

“A-a lifeguard.”

“They know what to do, focus on getting an ambulance, okay?”

The taxi is ready when he comes out. He climbs in, cuts the call, and waits until the car starts.

“What happened?” Minhyuk asks, his voice low.

“Kihyun-hyung drowned.”

Jooheon shrieks. “What?”

“I don’t know what exactly happened, but Changkyun is shaken up pretty bad,” he takes Jooheon’s warm hands and squeezes them for comfort. “Hyung’s getting first aid. I told them to get an ambulance.”

Minhyuk’s eyes are wide with surprise, with shock and worry too. “Is it that bad?”

“I don’t know,” Hyungwon bites his lower lip. “I hope not.”

*

It takes ten excruciating minutes for them to get to the beach. There’s commotion on the left side, and Minhyuk doesn’t know if he wants to go. He wants to run in the opposite direction, or at least into the ocean, and pretend nothing happened.

“I don’t think I can go,” he whispers to Jooheon, clinging desperately to his partner’s shoulder as the younger drags him towards the crowd. Where Kihyun is; alive or dead. “Don’t make me go, Jooheon-ah, please.”

“A few more steps, hyung,” Jooheon’s grip on his waist is tight and grounding. If it weren’t for him, Minhyuk would’ve collapsed right there. “I’m sure Kihyun is fine. Look, there’s even an ambulance ready for him.”

True to his words, Minhyuk finds an ambulance, with two people waiting with a stretcher. He finds Hoseok, Changkyun, and Hyunwoo huddled together, and at their feet—

Minhyuk looks away, taking in a shaky breath.

“He’ll be fine,” he mutters to himself, but those words bring no peace. His feet are dragging, and his whole gut feels rearranged. “He’ll be okay, right?”

“That’s right,” Jooheon replies, voice tender as he always is. “You know Kihyun is strong.”

When they reach the trio, Minhyuk still can’t look at Kihyun, and nobody forces him to do so. He stays in his place, hugging Jooheon, and listening to Hoseok tell them what happened.

“Why haven’t they taken him to the hospital yet?” Jooheon asks.

“He’s better now,” Hoseok replies. “He’s stable, they’re trying to see if he regains consciousness.”

“Will he?”

“They’re sure, but it might take more work.”

A stranger comes upto Hoseok, and tells him, “They’re taking him to the hospital now. Only two of you are allowed in the ambulance.”

In a few moments, Hyungwon and Hoseok are in the vehicle, and Minhyuk turns back only when he hears it move.

“He’ll be okay, right?” Changkyun whispers. Minhyuk nods, and brings the youngest into a hug.

“He will be, Changkyun-ah, don’t worry.”

*

Hyungwon handles all the paperwork, and him and the stranger (the jet surf instructor, Jooheon learns) translate for them and keep them updated.

Waiting outside the door, in the hallway of the little clinic is maddening. Jooheon keeps his arms around Minhyuk, keeps rubbing his partner’s back to stop himself from checking the time. The white walls, the brown seats, the sterile smell makes time meaningless. And soon, each of them start crying. It starts with Hyunwoo, who breaks down when Hyungwon asks him about Kihyun’s allergies. He sobs through the words ‘latex’ and ‘banana’, and next is Hoseok, then Minhyuk, Changkyun, and finally Hyungwon, who cries when the nurse leaves him be.

Jooheon takes turns comforting all of them as much as he can.

“Are _you_ okay?” Minhyuk asks, sniffling. He wipes his nose with a tissue, and buries his head against Jooheon’s shoulder, his eyes puffy and red.

“I’m…” _Numb,_ Jooheon thinks. “I’ll be okay.”

“We’ll see him soon,” Minhyuk says. “Will you really be okay? It’s okay if you want to cry.”

Jooheon can’t help but shrug. “The tears are not coming.”

Is this what disassociating is? He can’t remember what the article said. God, he really needs to get professional help and stop relying on online articles.

Minhyuk wiggles out of his arms and goes to Hyunwoo. They cry together some more, while Jooheon just stares at them, numb through and through.

“Jooheon-ah,”

He looks up and finds Hoseok, who holds out Kihyun’s red and blue towel. It’s the softest towel Kihyun owns — he says it feels like holding a stuffed animal.

Taking the towel, he folds into a square, and presses it against his chest. He lets out a heavy sigh, then another, then another — he realizes he isn’t breathing properly. Air isn’t reaching his lungs, and he gets up, trying to breathe in.

“Go out,” Hoseok says gently. “Get some fresh air.”

*

“Hey,” Changkyun places an arm on Jooheon’s shoulder, and takes a look at his friend’s face. He doesn’t look like he’s crying at all, so that’s good. “Kihyun-hyung’s awake. We can meet him now.”

The sky is orange, a very familiar sight even back in South Korea, but the hue brings peace to Changkyun’s mind. It feels like the end of the day, finally, the end of the bad time. An end to the miserable feeling he bore for so long.

Once Jooheon is with them, the nurse lets the six of them into the room. Changkyun stays in a corner, standing behind Hyunwoo and staring at Kihyun.

He looks so much better now, he’s smiling a little, his left hand is holding Hoseok’s hand, and his right is occupied by Minhyuk’s. His skin no longer looks bluish like, it’s nice to see him sitting up, with nobody violently pushing his chest to drain the water. 

None of them are in the mood to lecture him, but Changkyun is — he really wants to yell at Kihyun so much, for scaring all of them, for not taking good care of himself, for being so stupid.

“I told you to eat more,” he snaps before Kihyun can say anything. Everyone looks at him, but he stares at Kihyun with a scowl. “And why couldn’t you tell us you were sick?”

Kihyun stares at him for a second, his smile fading, and he sighs. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re not forgiven.”

Everyone laughs at him, even Kihyun smiles a little.

“You suck, you know,” he continues, clenching his fists. “What if you died? Huh? You _were_ medically dead for a few minutes!”

“I’m sorry, Changkyun-ah,” Kihyun says, his voice cracking at the end. When he beckons the youngest closer, he obliges. “You were really worried, I understand. All of you were.”

“Of course we were!” Minhyuk says, and he starts crying. “You’re an asshole! We were so worried about you, hyung!”

“I didn’t mean for it to happen!” Kihyun sobs. He pulls Hoseok and Minhyuk’s hands to his chest, crying silently as all of them stare at him. “I’m really sorry!”

“It-it’s not your fault, Kihyun-ah,” Hoseok says. He moves closer and rubs Kihyun’s back in a comforting manner. “It’s nobody’s fault.”

“Stop being an asshole to him,” Hyunwoo mutters. The room goes silent, Hyunwoo’s words heavy in the air.

They don’t talk much until Kihyun gets discharged. Changkyun stays close to Kihyun on their way back to the hotel.

“Hyung,” he whispers when they’re in the taxi. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Kihyun whispers back. “I know you didn’t mean it.”

“Can I sleep with you tonight?”

Kihyun chuckles softly. “Of course.”

**Author's Note:**

> aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa im posting this in urgency because i have other stuff to do but i hope you like this!!!!!! i tried my best~ and i love you!!!!!! <3


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